Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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