Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
