I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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