Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
