life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
