the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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