No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
