he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize