He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize