a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
