The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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