Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
