all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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