Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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