if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize