we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
