don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize