I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
