a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
