He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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