Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She announced her abortion via fbk
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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