Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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