i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
