3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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