How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
