i barfeds in our rink
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
