Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
