i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
