Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize