I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
