Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish I could punch you in the face.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You can't special order awesome
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
