I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
