i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize