where am i from again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
