Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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