Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
