Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
