he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize