You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
