Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
