Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
