I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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