I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize