So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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