Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
