She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
