Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
