Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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