her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize