you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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