What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
