Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
