I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
