Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
