She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
