Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you win again, gameday.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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