You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
