Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
