Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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