Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
